I don't often do this but I figured that since I'm going to do it anyway, I'll take the opportunity to express this to you on Valentine's Day. I'm a little rusty in writing blogs because it has been awhile since I last touched it. Here we go.

How I knew you:

I remembered very clearly that we met in July 2014 on a Friday night, it all started with CWY chatting with me and asking me out for dinner at One Utama that day because he wanted to introduce to me to a girl named Yuki, photo included too. Sounded like an interview, I know right. Speed dating Nick Cheng #101 totally. 

So on that night I took the liberty to ask my uncle to go out that night, and so I met you. Dressed in pink, with a handful of shopping bags and a super thin friend. I admit, you did not really catch my eye at the very first glance. Went dinner at Miam-miam, AND YOU DISLIKE GREEN TEA FOOD! Oh my holy goodness, first girl ever I know to not like matcha brownie cake, how is that possible?? Nevermind that, took a photo of the food for your friend, excellent photography in food I guess, compliments received. I'm awesome, I know (perasaan saje) yeah.

The worse thing you can ever fail as a man is to get the tab taken from you BY A GIRL on the very first date. Seriously like what? Me and CWY was just waiting for the bill to come when you and your friend went to the toilet. AND YOU PAID FOR WE MEN ON YOUR WAY OUT!?  Jesus, what the heck just happened? A girl is paying for us? Okay, since you insist. I'll just assume that you really want to pay for us so alright I'll accept it. And so with our filled tummy, we proceeded upstairs to have a movie. Maze Runner, cool, watched it already, but still cool. Hey to compensate you for dinner, I got you ice-cream. Hope that's good enough. I even got you girls popcorns! And then I saw you hugging CWY, what? Bro hug? First time seeing such an occurrence, but okay. 

Sad but I had to leave before the movie ended, curfew is a bitch and I can't do anything about it at that point of time. But hey it was fun meeting you. I went home and asked CWY to thank you on my behalf, but he sent me your number instead, okay.. Yuki added to contacts. Yay.

Trying to think back and I realized how fun it could be to relive those moments in my head over and over again. Meeting a girl which meant nothing to be back then could become the biggest gifts I've had. Okay, moving on..

The Deal:

Okay so I'm trying to make it sound all that cool and stuff, but it's just me trying to be dramatic with the headings and all. Okay back to the story..

Out of nowhere, I mean literally OUT OF NOWHERE. Gets a call from CWY one night asking if I would mind being your temporary fake boyfriend, I was pretty sure I agreed before thinking much because I was sleepy and didn't wanna bother much to think. Next morning I woke up, and I recalled what I agreed upon. There I am thinking, what the hell did I get myself into..

Okay, next moment, we have a group chat yay! *YUKI！ 我们在一起吧！* yeah that just happened. Next moment I got a call from you saying stuff like hey help me write a draft to CYY because the whole deal started when CYY got jealous and all, DRAMA is the word to put short of the whole thing that happened. So yeah, while I was playing badminton. Cute. Holding my phone while whacking the shuttle cock that's flying all over the court. So I paused for a moment to help you out. 

The First Date:

Obviously we had to know each other more if we were gonna put up a show for everyone to see. Or else it'll just be bullshit if it wasn't real enough. So yes, we went out. Mr and Mrs for lunch after class, eggs on bread. As we know each other more, the more laughter we had. But I'm pretty sure I was just cracking up lame jokes and you're just laughing at every single one of them. Yup, first sign to know that you really like me, or then again you're just good at putting up a show. Who knew? But then again with you being all red and shy, you pretty much gave away your acting. Or maybe you weren't even acting at all. 

Next, MOVIE TIME! In Sunway Pyramid. David called, ohhh? First friend to experience our fake relationship. Okay from here I just wanna get this clear, I did like you, at first touch actually. I escorted you with my hands on your shoulders. I honestly liked you from that point of time when we were on our way out from the restaurant. Don't ask me how did I fall for a girl by touching her, I just did. Even I had no idea how did that happened. So he came over and realized HOLY SHIT NICK HAS A GIRLFRIEND WHY TOGETHER BOJIO I DUNNO DE!? Okay, I'm just being dramatic, again. Watched The Purge 2. Aww poor thing when that guy died and you're just crying so innocently. Glad I got the chance to wipe your tears for the very first time. It's the small little things I remembered honestly. 

So dinner at Upstairs Cafe, too bad it wasn't the best red velvet cupcakes you've had. Had some issues with CWY that time and you would like to come down to JB with David. How nice! So that was the day when I assume that both of us had a mutual feeling towards each other. I may complaint about him sometimes, I may say I dislike him, but I still am glad he is there for you when I am not around.

The Contract:

OH-NO! Yuki is coming down today AND MY ROOM IS LIKE A HURRICANE! *Spends a whole afternoon cleaning up the entire room with the help of my mum* Gladly, I made it in time. However, it took you both until 2am to reach here. Thanks David for sending her down safely. Awww look at her sleepy face with that little tantrum there when she is forced to wake up. Cute little lamb you brought down by the way. So at that night, magic happens. We cuddled to sleep because you just couldn't sleep alone in a dark room with a place you barely knew. Pfft, what a perfect excuse to hold me. But I kinda wanted to hold you too so, yeah.. 

MY HEART OMG MY HEART, IT'S FASTER THAN A FERRARI! HELPPPPPP I CAN'T SLEEP. This, is what happens.. when you sleep with a girl you like for the first time. You don't really sleep, that's the whole idea. NIC YOU TOO EXCITED CALM DOWN PLEASE, EVEN SHE IS LAUGHING THAT YOUR HEART BEATS THAT FAST. So okay, at that point of time. We discussed about us being in this whole fake relationship. Now you're going to find this embarrassing. But I made you confess first, SORRY YUKI BUT I WANTED TO FOR THE FIRST TIME HAVING THE GIRL I LIKE TO CONFESS TO ME IN PERSON UP FRONT IN MY FACE. 

So yes, hang on I'm a little excited while writing this, ajfbkfgajhfvayvdkafi. Sorry, moment of happiness level just went up. 

Yeah, so I asked if you want to sign up for a long term contract. Don't sign, just kiss. It'll be remembered forever. To me at least. ANDDDDDDD SOOOOOO, we were officially together. Tadah!

The Conclusion:

The whole purpose of this blog post is a gentle reminder to the both of us that we started out being so happy together, I did not want to forget this nor would I forget. But I want to write this down because I want to show you my warmest sincerity to you that I am willing to spend time to express my happiest moments with you at the beginning of us. In high hopes of being together for a very, very, long time. 

It has been four months since we got together and I know it is not easy being with me, so much effort and bitterness you have to put up on my behalf. 幸苦你了. I also want to take this chance to list down all my weakness that you've pointed out to me today.

1. I never change despite a multitude of apologies. 

2. I forget things, I break promises.

3. I'm never there for you when you need me, physically and virtually (text messages).

4. I never escort you back home, neither in KL, neither from J.B.

5. I do not make you feel special enough.

6. You feel that you are not as important as I claim you to be. 

I know this is going to sound like the millionth time, but baby I'm sorry. 

I never knew you had to bear all my bad sides and I will try my best, give me time, alright?

I hope this post had somehow cheered you up, and also the same time made you realize that I have now understood my mistakes. I might still make the same mistakes from time to time. But you have to point out my mistakes whenever I make them.

I know you carry a heavy burden, family issues. Restrictions from having a relationship known to your relatives. And many more which I have not come to know of. But I hope I can one day be the one you share everything with, slowly, with time. 

Happy Valentine's Day, though I am not with you physically, but my heart will always belong right inside of you. Racing like a Ferrari. I love you. 

With much loving regards, Nic.